Date Rape
What is Date Rape?
Date rape (also referred to as acquaintance sexual assault) is non-consensual sexual behaviour between adults who know each other. Acquaintance rape occurs when one individual forces, coerces or manipulates another individual to have sexual intercourse against the other's will and without consent. It is one of the most common types of sexual assault and one of the least understood.
Facts on Date Rape:
- 1 in 4 college women is sexually assaulted; that is, forced, physically or verbally, actively or implicitly, to engage in sexual activity.
- 84% of women who are victims of sexual assault know their attacker.
- 57% of sexual assaults occur while on dates.
- 60% of acquaintance rapes on college campuses occur in casual or steady dating relationships.
- Only 27% of women whose sexual assault met the legal definition of rape considered their experience rape.
- 75% of the date-rapists and 55% of the women involved in acquaintance rape had been drinking or taking drugs before the sexual assault occurred.
- Acquaintance rapes are likely to occur in off-campus apartments, fraternity houses and residence hall rooms.
- Date rape can also occur in same sex relationships.
- 43% of "college-aged" men admitted to using coercive behaviour to have sex, including physical aggression to forced intercourse.
Safety Tips:
- Know that it's your right to decide whether, when, and with whom you will have sex.
- Trust your instincts. If you feel uneasy, uncomfortable or confused. Give yourself permission to leave even if you fear you may hurt his feelings.
- Be especially aware in social situations where a lot of alcohol and/or drugs are being consumed. They can comprise your judgement, and the judgement of your partner. Many assaults on women happen in social situations where there is excess alcohol and drug use.
- Take care of yourself. Don't put yourself in a situation where other people might have to take care of you, because they might not be there.
- Know which behaviours constitute sexual assault.
- If things start to get out of hand, leave, protest loudly. If you feel threatened, create a scene to attract attention. Do not be afraid of embarrassment. It should be your last concern when you are in a dangerous situation.
- Be assertive. Think ahead about getting home. Be prepared when you are away from home to be able to leave a situation if you need to. Coordinate plans with friends and arrange transportation. Always carry enough money for cab fare.
What to do if date rape happens to you:
- Take whatever steps to make yourself safe.
- Believe in yourself. What happened to you was wrong and you are NOT to blame. No one deserves to be sexually assaulted.
- Get help. Phone the police, a friend, a rape crisis centre, a relative. Tell someone you trust.
- Get the medical attention that you need and to check for injury, prevent sexually transmitted infections and pregnancy, get counselling and collect evidence. Evidence collection does not require you to place a report with the police or press charges; it just preserves these options for the future.
- For the purposes of evidence collection, we suggest that you avoid showering, combing your hair or changing your clothes before going to the hospital. If you must change clothes, put the items in separate paper bags, again to be used in evidence testing. Do not use plastic bags as they may contaminate evidence.
- It is important to remember that you can still report an assault to the police without having the sexual assault evidence kit done. It is your choice.
- Decide who you want to tell. Tell someone you trust who can support and assist you. You may want to choose helping professionals such as sexual assault counsellors, crisis line workers, women support groups, health nurses, doctors, or the police.
- Take time to recover and talk to a counsellor for support. Your health, emotional and physical, is important.
- Remember that reporting a crime can help you regain a sense of personal power and control. It can also help to ensure the safety of other potential victims.
- Regardless of whether or not you call the police or press charges, academic and judicial intervention may be available to you.
- Do not blame yourself. Often a survivor will blame herself by looking back to painful experiences and seeing many things they "should have" or "shouldn't have" done. Even if you think you acted carelessly or foolishly, you did not ask to be sexually assaulted. The perpetrator's behaviour, not your behaviour, caused the sexual assault to occur.
What you can do to help a date rape survivor:
- Believe her. Listen to her without judgement.
- Ask how you can be of most help to her.
- Encourage her to talk about the assault but DO NOT pressure her to talk.
- Help her to make her own decisions; do not "take over" for her. She needs to regain her sense of control.
- Recognize your own feelings as separate from hers.
