Understanding relationships

Healthy Relationships

Hurtful Relationships

Equity: you and your partner share responsibility and make decisions together that are equal and fair.  

Control: your partner makes all of the rules (e.g. tells you what to wear, who to spend your time with etc.)    

Honesty: you and your partner share your hopes, dreams, aspirations, and fears with one another. You feel comfortable opening up and being vulnerable with your partner (e.g. sharing how you are feeling, both good and bad). You can talk to your partner about the things they do that upset you, and they can talk to you about the things you do that are upsetting to them.  

Dishonesty: you and your partner keep secrets from each other, and you do not feel safe or comfortable opening up to them about your thoughts or feelings. 

Physical Safety: you feel physically safe around your partner, and they respect your space and boundaries. 

Physical Abuse: your partner uses force to get their way (e.g. hitting, slapping, pushing, kicking) 

Respect: your partner treats you with kindness and care. They listen to you and accept you for who you are.   

Disrespect: your partner makes fun of your interests and opinions and speaks to you in a rude or demeaning tone.  

Comfort: you and your partner can be your truest selves around each other, and accept your individual differences. In instances where you or your partner are in the wrong, you can both recognize this and apologize.

Intimidation: your partner tries to control every aspect of your relationship, and will sometimes use verbal or physical threats or manipulation to get their way. 

Sexual Respect: all sexual activity between you and your partner is consensual. You both feel safe and comfortable discussing what you like and do not like as it concerns sexual activity. You do not feel pressured to participate in sexual activities that are not appealing or fun for you.

Sexual Abuse: your partner uses pressure or force to get their way when engaging in sexual activity. They make efforts to convince you to take part in sexual activity that you have made clear that you are not interested in. 

Autonomy: both you and your partner have your own separate identities. You are both comfortable engaging in activities and making decisions as a couple, as well as separately (i.e. social gatherings, extracurricular activities, planning trips). 

Dependence: one partner feels as though they aren’t able to live without the other. One partner may threaten to do something drastic if the relationship ends. 

Humour: you and your partner like to laugh and have fun; the relationship is enjoyable for both of you. 

Hostility: you feel as though you have to be careful what you say around your partner to avoid upsetting them.